Let’s just be 100% honest right here and now, we are all in need of coping techniques, ALL OF US. Life is a messy place to be living in and always has been. No matter how many degrees or certificates you own, everyone needs tools in their toolbox to help them cope with life. Of course, there are varying degrees of need as well as the magnitude of the coping tool but this one below is my favorite. 

Those of you who know me well, know I am a rambling kind of writer and speaker. My degrees were in Social Work and Behavioral Counseling, they were not in Writing, English, or Communication. I normally do not like to write long blog posts because I ramble on so much and I get bored of editing. Can you say undiagnosed ADD lol? This being said I do try and correct grammatical errors. Give me some grace with this long post below. I have no idea what prompted me to write it and I probably rambled too much. In a perfect world, I would have Mike proofread everything but heck that would not be authentic Judy right? :-)

The coping tool I am speaking about is called the HALT Method. HALT is an acronym that stands for “hunger, anger, lonely, tired.” To use the HALT method, you check in with yourself periodically and ask yourself how you’re feeling in these four categories. Sometimes, check-ins can occur daily, other times, you may check in with yourself hourly.

This method can be complicated to use or truly very simple. Again, the varying degrees of its use depends on you and your needs. I use it a few times a week like maintenance or when I am moving off my center point. There are two categories in this method: Physical and Emotional. The two physical are tired and hungry and the two emotional are angry and lonely.

These four categories can have a large impact on your decision-making process. If you are off in any of these areas you may be more likely to make poor choices that affect your health and well-being or create unnecessary drama in your workplace or relationships. I remember using this method ALL THE TIME when I was working. I never taught it to my students, which I greatly regret now.

Some examples of when you might use this method are:

• When you get that “Hangry” feeling inside. When you are hungry and not wanting to make poor food choices
• When you are feeling anger. Anger can cause you to unnecessarily lash out at someone ( oh hell yes this is so me )
• When you feel sluggish. Tiredness can cause you to skip activities that you wanted to do
• When you are lonely. Loneliness can create unhealthy bonds, like joining social media groups that truly create more drama and loneliness/judgment

Here is how I use the simple form of HALT, remember it is not rocket science, it is awareness and checking in with yourself. (so often we plunge ahead with a reaction without reflection.

Hungry

• If you feel hungry, drink some water before you reach for food. Simple right? I can not tell you how many times I lost that hunger feeling after I drank some water. If you are feeling hungry, it could also be your blood sugar telling you something. You don’t want to mess around with this, so pick up something healthy and a glass of water, give it 10-15 minutes, and see if that feeling is still with you. Good healthy food will satisfy hunger every time, whereas quick non-thinking grabbing for food usually results in some crappy processed food full of ingredients that will not come close to satisfying a hunger pain. A simple check-in with your body can be so beneficial. 

Tired

• Fatigue is like being hungry — it’s a condition that affects the brain. I bet everyone can relate to feeling loopy, almost alien, like when you did not sleep well the night before. If I have a bad night’s sleep sometimes I feel like I am walking around in a thick fog. This is not the best condition to make decisions or react to something important. Lack of sleep and sleep disorders like insomnia can truly rock your world and not in a good way. Of course, no coping method can fix a lack of sleep, but if you are aware of it, you can remove yourself from situations where errors might occur. When I have not slept well I do my best to avoid any conversation with Mike that might lead to a disagreement. I am one raging B word when I am tired. Exhaustion affects our ability to handle stress. If we acknowledge that we are tired we set boundaries for ourselves and do not put ourselves in a line of fire we are giving ourselves the space we need. We do not have to always be on, it’s ok to step away. Sometimes, I fail at this because I feel that admitting I am tired means I am not strong. You and I both know that is hogwash and with the HALT coping method, we have a chance to correct things before things go down quickly. 

Lonely

• As a species, we are social organisms right? When we find ourselves cut off from contact with other members of our social group or community, that can be very unhealthy. As you know Mike and I recently moved to Portugal and we left behind our social connection overnight. At first, we felt so connected because there were loads of expat happy hours and functions but those were not true friend connections. It was not long into our adventure that I started to notice I was feeling kinda gloomy. What I realized after lots of reflection is you can still be lonely even though people surround you!!! I realized that although we were going out all the time what I needed was meaningful connections. I needed to surround myself with people who shared the same interests that I did, not just people who shared a coffee or a glass of wine with me. Do not get me wrong we made a lot of instant connections with people that we still today call good friends but I had to learn to tell the difference between real connections and crowds. So today if I start to feel that gloom I reflect on my tribe. I also spend time pondering if I need to get out of my house and spread my wings more. On the outside, I look like a very social person on the inside I can get way too comfortable in my isolation. This part of the HALT Method is something I struggle with often, it is very personal.

Angry

• Anger is normal and just because you feel angry does not mean something is wrong with you. However, anger is mighty powerful, and just like the others above it can cloud our judgment and encourage us to make poor decisions or do things we might regret. I feel like this is an emotion that I am getting better at handling as I age. I am not sure if it is experience or wisdom or perhaps a combination of both of them. Anger is one of those emotions that is very obvious in your body. There are physical signs you just can’t deny; rapid heartbeat, flushed face, clenched fists, and so forth. The HALT method shines here, if you stop and recognize the anger you can grab it in your toolbox and find a helpful intervention before things go south. My go-to is always meditation. I can easily excuse myself, find a quiet place, and go inward. 10 minutes of downtime, focusing on your breath, and nothing else can be miraculous.

Ok I know that you are thinking, “OMG Judy these are such duhs” In a perfect world we would all do this without thought or struggle. I hear ya but the thing is we don’t lol. This is a reminder to check in a few times a day with these four things above. I can almost guarantee you will have success. Our minds are like computers and if we do not consistently feed them with information it will malfunction. Checking in with yourself regularly is important, I consider it one of my favorite forms of self-care.

So just to recap, the H.A.L.T. Method for decisions is a mindful technique to check in with yourself before making choices, ensuring that decisions are not negatively influenced by being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Utilizing this method is one of my favorite forms of self-care/self-love. You are worth it.

Thoughts?